I've been challenged a lot lately on my perception of war. Normally, when I think about war I think about killing, I then think killing is wrong, then think I can't commit murder and go from that to I will never fight in a war.
But that's been changing lately.
I supposed it started with a question. One of the Christians I know told me that if he was called to fight for his country, he'd do it because he'd think not to do his duty would be wrong in the eyes of God. This was from someone I have great respect for and it troubled me when I've always maintained that killing is always wrong. So I asked God what would be the right thing to do.
I've looked in the bible at King David. He was a man with a great heart and passion for God. He made his mistakes, but he sought God on so many things and was blessed and favoured greatly by God. He was also a man that went to war and fought and killed in battle. He killed and I quote "thousands" of other men. He even killed a giant. Unmistakeably he was a man that went into battle with God at his side.
I look at the service men and women of this country and I have been taught to honour them for their sacrifice and it's always been a sacrifice that has pierced me. That so many people have given up there lives fighting for our country. And I have thought of the freedom I have now that I owe to each of them. A freedom that some people of this world don't know. I am and have always felt immense respect and gratitude for what they have done and for what the service men and woman serving today do for our freedom. This has also made me struggle with the idea that killing is always wrong.
I was asked at work this week by one of my colleagues if I thought war was wrong. I told him that i don't think so but still didn't think i could kill someone.
What really did the turn around for me funnily wnough was watching Saving Private Ryan. I've seen the film before but it didn't challenge me this way before. It's set in the 2nd world war and there's a scene where a soldier who joined as a Communications Officer thinking he'd never have to face combat is sitting on the stairs while he listens to one of the men who have fought and killed to keep him and the rest of the unit alive be killed by an enemy soldier. Moreover, he's sitting on the stairs with a gun in his hand and two strings of ammo round his neck. I think this character was half paralysed by fear and half battling over his own conviction that killing was wrong. When I watched this I felt angry and I questioned myself. If I was in his position could I sit there and do nothing? Or would I sit there paralysed by shock and fear? I no longer questioned what the I belive right thing to do was.
I've been told by some non-believers that they believe that the Bible contradicts itself. Whilst I don't agree, I think confusion comes because there are so many areas in life that just aren't as black and white as we'd like them to be. Just aren't as simple. And I think that's expressed in the Bible, because I know that God gets the grey areas.
So today I'd be happy to call myself a soldier and fight for the freedom we've been given today. And I'd pray that God would go ahead of me and I pray that he goes ahead of each of the soldiers fighting for our country today.
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